I'm tired of wasting time.

I keep hearing about jellyfish lately. In songs I've loved for years, in pictures, and in dreams. I never knew how perfectly a jellyfish describes me. Almost colorless, transparent, and spineless. I lie a lot. I think it makes me feel better. I hope it makes other people feel better being around a false happy than someone who truly doesn't know how to stop the whirlwind around her. People can see right through me. Read my every move. Once they get close enough to realize that I don't have a backbone, they think I can't feel it when it gets crushed. Which I do. If there is one thing that separates me from a jellyfish, it's that I welcome danger. Thinking I can turn it all around... when really I should shock it far away. I should give a warning. "Run away, I'll probably love you too much to let you go when it's time." Time and apologies don't mean much anymore. It's irrelevant. Time doesn't heal, and time isn't helping me move along. I've been stuck for quite some "time."