My Heart Abandoned.

I don't know why I get inspired so late in the night. I usually just spend all the time after dark finding new bands and/or blogging. Which I haven't been doing a whole lot of... sorry.

Okay. Here it goes.
I love Christmas time. I get, if possible, more jolly than ever. I can't stop smiling. I can't stop thanking God for all that He's blessed me with. Even if things are going wrong this time of my year, I can never get so upset that it ruins the whole Christmas atmosphere. This Christmas I was feeling more anticipation than ever. I could feel it with every bone in my body. Talking about it would get me a riled up. Then today (Christmas Eve) happened and I felt like it was just another old day at church. You'd think singing Christmas carols all day would get you in the Christmas spirit but I wasn't feeling it. Frustrated, I started saying a little prayer in my head.

"Hey Jesus, oh by the way, Happy Birthday, ummm... I am really puzzled as to why I'm having a hard time being excited for what is the most important day on the earth. I love you and I'm sorry I feel this way but I was hoping that I might get a little more jittery like I was a couple days ago? I am just really needing joy to pour out of me."

SMACK! (Not literal)
I was missing the whole point. The point of Christmas is not about singing a bunch of feel good songs about thankfulness and love. It's about remembering the birth of the most incredible man to ever walk the earth. It's about realizing that the blood that ran through Mary's veins ran in Jesus’ veins, and it is designed exactly as the blood in ours. It's about taking a moment out of our day to say, "Hey God, thanks for sending Your son just to die for me." It's about taking the time to evaluate everything we stand for. To realign our priorities. To find the unconditional love that could drown us a hundred times over.

Today, I want to start making a change. I want God to inhabit every area of my life. I want Him to shine through my heart and my words. I want Him to run through my veins. I want Him. He's all I want. He's everything.

"I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned. In awe, of the One who gave it all."