You've reached my heart.

I don't really know how to describe the feeling of knowing the destination, seeing how bright and full of hope it is, and not be able to find the road. It feels like each road I take, hoping it will be the right one, gets me to a certain extent and stops. With the destination right out of reach. The path is blocked by movies, memories, and old cds. I have never had a hard time loving... anything. It's the moving on part that gets me. I understand what my heart wants and by this time I desperately just want it to stop. When is that right time to stop listening to your heart? This is a gray area for me. I don't know who to listen to, or if my heads advice will even follow through. It really hasn't gotten me that far. All I know is that he warmed my heart, and I don't know how to let that go. I'm just a kid. Why did I have to get myself into something this messy?

God, I'm trying really hard to just love You and do Your works, but I just can't understand why this aching stays with me. Am I supposed to ache? Would you put this in my heart? Or am I keeping it hear against your will?

I am so in need of a different song tonight. I can't stop pressing play; it brings me enough comfort that I turning it off might end this night in something I hate. I want to stop missing you. Please don't read this.