Autobiography.

I wouldn't even read my life story right now. That's how much I hate feelings.

Congratulations Hillary, you're are now back at GO!
(do not collect 200$)

Rejoice in this Divine Romance.

I will sing and dance, to show my love. So many fears and worries have become nonexistent thanks to you Lord. You have showed me yet again the road you want me on, and everyday I feel me grow in you. I trust you Jesus, and I thank you for letting me grow past my stupidity. My heart is no longer mine or anyone else's. My heart is Yours. Guide me with it to your glory. I love You.

Drama Queen

I apologize for making my attitude sound so dramatic. I think it's because I want so much of what I'm thinking to never come out in my actions. So from now on, bear with me as my writing will always be exaggerated to get every last drop of emotion out. I've never been fond of feelings, the only way I know how to express myself is through art, music, and writing.

I'm running back to my God. Reading His word always gets me back on my feet. It's amazing that I think I am all independent, when in reality, my entire happiness lies with my most beloved friend. Jesus Christ.

Enough is enough.

It's never enough. What I say, what I do, what I don't. I'm worthless to you. Do I want to get close again? You know how hard it is to lose. The fight, the childhood, my heart, my mind. You said I'd never have to lose you. But how can I keep you, all you want is to run from me. It's my fault; it’s always been my fault. Think of the last apology that came out of your mouth, and then try to convince yourself that it wasn't that long ago. That you don't need to own up to at least 1% of the damage. That the flooding will stop as soon as I call, or drive, or make an effort. It's not that you won't apologize; it's that you won't fight. Nothing I do will ever be good enough because you take take take. I can only give so much. You've made me weak, I'm drowning, and for this you will ask me to apologize. And for this reason I won't. I am not what you need; I now know that I have never been. My life has taught me to not be dependant on people. I am human, I can not be everywhere at once, I can not hear your thoughts, I can not predict your mood theme parks, and for a long while I have not been your friend. I am simply not good enough for your standards. Hope you find someone who can get inside. For ten years now, I know I've only failed.

To the World.

Get your mind off yourself. Maybe it's time you looked through the window instead of the mirror. It's been gimme gimme gimme for so long; sometimes I think if you could, you'd marry yourself. Which we all know has a 50% percent chance of failing. So empty your pockets into worldly nouns, into the latest trend, your most recent longing, and then ask yourself, "Will it ever be enough?" I know that I am preaching to the choir, but when you have seen what I have, you begin to understand. For a country that prides itself on being wealthy and full of all you need, we lack so much. "The strong shall lead the weak." We are weak, and with the unconditional love I experienced in Mexico, I am strong.