Fiction Faker.

I'm always choosing the music that reminds me of a dramatic scene in some life changing movie. Always saying things that I think someone would laugh at if I were trapped in a television. Or doing something so outrageous it doesn't even make sense. Life always seemed so much better in my books. There was always a light side to heartbreak. Always a quote that just made you rethink your everything, and whatever it was that made up your everything. The love was always more passionate. Each word, so perfect it made you laugh, and even cry. I'm sick of feeling this way after reading. Like what I have is never going to be book worthy. That my life is the most commonly unwatched. That no one is going to see me. That I'm not as good as the lead character that figures it all out in the end. My end can't end in 700 pages. It's going to take forever to be a memory. Even if I'm worth remembering. I have all the love I'll need in Jesus. But lately I feel so empty. Like I can get through each day, and when everyone leaves, so do I. I hate being alone with my thoughts. I start writing about feelings. I hate feelings. The bad ones anyway. For goodness sakes, I'm writing about how I wish I was in a book... it's just fiction after all. I just don't know anymore.